From the recording Now I'm Free
New Mexico (I to Mine) © 2017 Bill Scorzari
Drivin' through New Mexico. It's a long, long road. It's a long way to go. It's gonna take some time to go, you know. Drivin' through New Mexico. And I try not to care as the road unwinds all the tangles here inside my mind. I rub my eyes and then I stare right into the glare as I look behind and then it's forward as we go. It’s forward as we go. Yeah, and then these Arizona roads, well I'd say that they're all just as long, and as they take me through the day this way they play just like a lonesome song, and I can almost hear them say, “Today, right here’s the place where you belong.” Yeah, she'll give you all she's got for just a little rain. And, she stays quiet through the day and night, but she runs so hot and cold that it's enough to make a strong man stand and talk and bear his soul into the night. The further in you drive, the more that you will know, the further in you go, the more you're too far in to walk. You're too far in to walk. Then the hills of California turn like windmills in my mind and as best as I remember, it's fifteen hours next to Denver. Then for Boulder I was bound. Tired and low, I looked around and sat with the beggars that I found. They're all just playin' for nickels there, you know. Just like everywhere you go. And there's a street man on the corner and he still can't keep the beat. I'm gonna go further down the road, out of ear shot, way down the street. I'm gonna pawn somethin' I've got or play a song so I can eat. Sometimes it's hard to breathe the air up here, you know. Yes, there are diamonds in the windows, just like seashells on the shore. The waves ain't breakin’ in though. No, the tide's so low that they abide the door, and, there's music playin' in the street, and the street man still can’t keep the beat. It's the same song as before. It's the only one he knows. He plays it loud, he plays it slow and as it echoes off the buildings crowds of people come and go, and when a new crowd wanders by he wonders why they all don't stop and cry for more. He wonders why they don't all stop and cry for more. He's a seashell on the shore, not keepin' the time not keepin' the score. He's just rollin' with the tide day and night, and stands for more. Yeah, and if you wanna talk about the Southern weather, well, I see tornado warnings across everywhere I need to go. I think to myself, I could take my chances and die somewhere out here on the road and still die wondering if I died a hero or a goat. And, like a hound dog runnin' faster than his nose, I placed three bets at 3 AM at the third casino down in Shreveport. I first half expected, then full hoped and then bet again that I would see more than just to watch my money go, as I just watched my money go. Yeah, you can kill a man with his own foolishness and keep him chasin' all in vain all that he's lost, send him head long diggin' for fool's gold out in the wilderness or bettin’ all he's got on the next coin that he thinks he might get tossed. And I'm so broken down that I don't doubt that it's hard to be around me now, while I'm still just learnin' how to accept the love I think I don't deserve. I've gotta get back out on the highway, straightaway. I’ve gotta find a better line to get me over this mountain, or somehow get me around it. I adjust my speed to match my courage, to get me at least through the next curve, wherever and however fast, way out here on this steep dark pass, that it might come to be. And as I drive off into the distance and the horizon pulls me closer, and from the places where my existence has been sustaining me, towards that thin line between the permanence of no tomorrow and what I can see, the edge lies in the dark where we both disagree, and like a fool who asks to be shown just what it's like to be fooled, I'm not new in my remaining close to the edge, just in the more of how it now taunts me with its feigning that my presence is required by it, and with my eyes growin' tired and my high-beams lit, I see the relevance of time, and back on the road quickly I shift my eyes until my mind's no longer wondering at or distracted by the pines, where what's pre-known and understood before it takes its place in time, tempts the experience, as if the experience and not the tempting were the lie. Then I turn right and left, fighting the edge so that its presence won't take mine, and suddenly I see my fate and watch it flash before my eyes, and all that I can see before me now is everything pushed to its own edge, is to its own edge, as I to mine is, as I to mine. So, shine a light then, if you've got one, and If you don't, wait till you do. You can put your whispers on me, just first make sure your whispers all are true, and be gentle with a gentle heart when it's gentle with you, 'cause everything, you know, just takes time. Like drivin' through New Mexico. It's a long, long road. It's a long way to go. It's gonna take some time to go, you know. Drivin' through New Mexico.